At 32, Rosie Proctor had simply moved in along with her accomplice and was residing out her dream profession as a nurse on the Gold Coast. Then a shock blood most cancers analysis turned her from caregiver to affected person on the very hospital the place she labored.
Originally of 1993, Rosie was optimistic in regards to the yr forward. “I used to be a busy nurse doing shift work and simply having fun with life,” she says. “[I was] simply doing regular, on a regular basis stuff.”
“I had been with my accomplice for a few years, and we had at all times shared a home with different folks. We determined to make a dedication and transfer in collectively. I took a few days off work simply to get the home collectively.”
As she was establishing the home and excitedly making ready for all times’s subsequent chapter, Rosie started feeling a ‘nagging ache’ in her hip.
Rosie went straight to her GP, who initially suspected that it was Ross River Fever, a viral an infection transmitted via mosquito bites.
Nonetheless, after working some additional blood checks and an x-ray on her hip, her GP knowledgeable her that it was extra severe than initially thought and that she wanted to go to the hospital instantly.
“I spent a horrendous night in accident and emergency, with all types of checks and naturally it was the identical hospital the place I labored as a nurse, so I knew all people. I used to be in such shock. And by then, phrase had unfold all through the hospital amongst all my colleagues that doubtlessly I had leukaemia.”
“It was a very different feeling for me being a patient and being in the same hospital where I worked.”
The following morning, Rosie was officially diagnosed with acute myeloid leukaemia, and began induction chemotherapy at the Gold Coast Hospital.
To make matters even worse, Rosie was told that she was unlikely to ever return to work. The months that followed leading up to her stem cell transplant were tough.
“I spent around nine months in hospital for my transplant,” she recalls. “I had a couple of little breaks in between where I went home for a couple of weeks. But my whole world had just shrunk down to a hospital bed and my locker.”
I didn’t know who I was. I’d lost faith in my ability to be well. I had nothing else to talk about but the complications of my illness. I was a sad person to be around. I think looking back, clinically, I was depressed.”
“[But] I bought via. How? I’m unsure. I assume I simply continued to journal, and I listened to a number of music. My eyesight was dangerous, so I couldn’t learn, watch TV, drive, or do something like that. I relied closely on my household and my accomplice to help me to get me via.”
In September 1993 – seven months after being identified – Rosie underwent a stem cell transplant in Brisbane, along with her sibling because the donor.
“I used to be very lucky,” she says. “She’s my oldest sister. She had lived in New Zealand since I used to be 11, earlier than shifting to Singapore. They’d simply arrived again in Australia the month earlier than I used to be identified to stay. It was good timing.”
Regardless of her stem cell transplant being successful, Rosie continued to really feel unwell and located herself missing each power and goal.
“I simply felt so unwell for therefore a few years [following the transplant] that I put all my power into making an attempt to get higher and therapeutic myself. I used to fantasise a few world the place I used to be now not sick.”
“I did offers with God. I prayed. I screamed. I did a number of stuff. I sang heaps. I did a number of soul looking in that point. I used to be continually in search of the explanation I bought sick.”
“After which abruptly all the things simply clicked. I assume I bought higher. I used to be feeling far more nicely in myself, and stronger, and optimistic.”
This sudden but welcome change reinvigorated Rosie to cease seeking to the previous, however in direction of the longer term. As a result of she may solely management the latter.
“I realised that each one of these issues don’t matter. It doesn’t matter why I used to be identified. It occurred. It modified me. And I simply must go from right here.”
She determined to return to school and full her research to develop into a registered nurse.
“I simply embraced the entire thing. [But] it’s scary shifting ahead. I learn a ebook known as ‘Really feel the Worry, However Do It Anyway’, and it actually helped me know that it was okay to really feel frightened about stepping out of your consolation zone and doing stuff that you just’d by no means finished earlier than. And it actually helped me transfer ahead in not simply work, however life usually.”
When requested about what recommendation and learnings she’d give to others on their very own blood cancer journey, Rosie emphasises the importance of trusting those around you, and focusing on what you can control.
“Take it step by step. Don’t get caught up worrying about stuff that may or may not happen. And put your trust into your treating team and listen to them, because they’re on your side. And write things down, I did find it quite therapeutic.”
Rosie has now been a registered nurse for over 20 years, returning to the same hospital where she had been both a caregiver and a patient.
And looking back on that experience, while it was the hardest thing she’s ever had to go through, it made her the strong, resilient and passionate person she is today. And for that, she’s eternally grateful.
“My cancer journey will never leave me,” she says. “It’s now a part of my life, but I have moved beyond it. It was long and treacherous, but it changed me as a person. It’s made me stronger, and I’ve got more respect for myself. And I like who I am, who I’ve become now.”
“I always had a favourite saying, and I still say it, most days of my life. ‘Life doesn’t have to be perfect to be wonderful.’”
To learn more about Rosie’s blood cancer journey, you can listen to this episode of the Talking Blood Cancer Podcast where she sits down with host Maryanne Skarparis to recount her journey with acute myeloid leukaemia.
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